The Gorilla and the Atheist...
A small zoo in New Jersey obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Willy Walton, a left-leaning activist, responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Willy, like most mouth-breathing libbers, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Willy was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Willy showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:
"First", Willy said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Janeane Garofalo' T-Shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Fourth", he said, "I want all the children raised Atheists." Once again it was agreed.
"And last," Willy said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00.